Juniors: College Day is coming. Prepare yourselves!That last part is just a sample of the dry humor of Mr. Method, the guidance counselor who also serves as drama teacher. Mr. Method never misses an opportunity to add color to his announcements. For example, last week he posted the following:
O dark and dreadful day! SAT exams will be held on Saturday, February 26, at the E. Biglelow Butz Regional High School.Mr. Method's announcement about College Day continues:
College Day is a misnomer; it would be best if we called it College Hour, as there will be but three colleges presenting: Old Ivy College, the University of Lake City and Enormous State University. Students who really want to learn about colleges would be best advised to check the internet, or mailboxes at home, as Beauneville Latin has little time or energy to devote to college fairs and the like.Roderick pauses, and chuckles. That Mr. Method! He's such a comic!
Students seeking to learn more about college life should report to the Gymnasium between one and two p.m., and will be excused from class. Not that an excuse is required, since attendance is never taken.Molly noodges Roderick. "Are you going?" she asks.
"Sure" he replies. Not that there is any doubt in his mind about where he will go to college. Of course, he will go to Old Ivy. And so will Molly. Roderick thinks about himself and Molly, in the Quadrangle, under the Kissing Tree. Then he thinks about Molly, nude. This requires little imagination on his part, as Molly, nude, is a regular part of Roderick's daily life.
Molly noodges him again. "What are you thinking about?" she asked.
"I was thinking about you, actually", he says. Roderick considers whether or not to mention the no clothes part, and decides against it. Not here at school. There is a time and a place for everything, and morning sign-in is definitely not the best time to discuss erotic thoughts.
Molly smiles. Of course, she is thinking about Beethoven, the Arioso from the A-flat Sonata Opus 110, but also listening to Roderick; Molly's mind is a fugue, with multiple subjects in counterpoint. She can't wait to get to Art class and lose her clothes.
Mary Bloom brushes against Roderick in an almost seductive way. "Thank you so much for helping me with my Science homework", she gushes, batting her big blue eyes.
"You're welcome", says Roderick. What a nice girl, he thinks. So polite and neatly dressed. It hardly matters to him that she barters sex for money and grades; in fact, he finds it intriguing, though not enough to break into his piggy bank.
Mounting the stairway, on the way to English class, Megan Cupcake "accidentally" bumps into Roderick. "Hi Roderick", she coos. "Want to come over after school to 'study Latin'?" She says the words 'study Latin" in such a manner as to make clear that she has something more in mind than Catullus.
"Sure", says Roderick. Roderick knows exactly what Megan has in mind, and is more than happy to oblige, especially so since Molly will be practicing for her big recital. No point in spending an afternoon alone.
