Heroic efforts by city workers saved the Port-O-Potties, but could not save Dahlia and her customer.Megan pauses, and shifts uncomfortably in her chair. Ouch, she thinks. Mr. Joyce is an awesome writing coach, but a bit hard on the buttocks. She makes a mental note to change her 'safe' word to something other than 'Ulysses'.
The memorial service, held at the nearby Church of the Holy Placebo, is sparsely attended. At the door, Dr. Feelgood holds Mae Rose's hand. "She was so young. And such a good earner."
Mae Rose sobs.
"He's creepy," says Muffin, as they walk to the car.
"I just don't know what we're going to do without Dahlia's cash," Mae Rose says, weepily.
"We can charge people fees to get rid of their cars," says Muffin, pausing briefly to contribute to the Church of the Holy Placebo's front lawn.
Meanwhile, Rosa Behaarte-Beine brings up her favorite subject at today's 'Sunday Brunch with Parvelescu'. "Why doesn't anyone talk about the positive aspects about life in the GDR?" she asks between bites of gluten-free non-GMO granola.
Parvelescu sips his coffee. "Like what, for instance?"
"Well, free health care, for one."
"Bismarck introduced universal health care to Germany in 1883. The Commies can't claim credit for that."
"Very little crime."
"You're right about that, and the police were very responsive. You didn't even need to call them. Just say 'Erich Honecker is a moron' in a loud voice and they'd show up in no time."
"No pointless consumerism."
"That's true, too. There was nothing to buy. Let me guess, you're from West Berlin?"
"Ja, Zehlendorf."
"Your mother and father vote SDP?"
"No, they're Greens."
"And you were born after the wall came down?"
"Ja, 1995."
"So you don't really remember the Wall?"
"Why does everyone complain about the Wall? Israel has a Wall."
"The distinction being that while Israel has a wall to keep terrorists out, the Berlin Wall was built to keep citizens of the GDR in. Because wanting to leave the GDR was the ultimate crime, punishable by death. Those who wanted to leave the GDR were, in effect, saying that the GDR was not paradise, a belief that could not be countenanced."
Rosa shrugs. "I suppose you're going to complain about the Stasi. It's kind of hypocritical for Americans to criticize the Stasi when you have Guantanamo Bay and NSA wiretapping."
"With the 'subtle' distinction that the GDR put its own citizens in Torgau for thought crimes, while Guantanamo Bay holds stateless individuals who admit they want to kill and maim American citizens." Parvelescu uses his fingers to emulate "square quotes" around the word 'subtle'. "And whether you agree with the NSA's tactics or not, it's inarguable that they act in the interests of all Americans while the Stasi -- whose motto was 'Sword and Shield of the Party' -- was an instrument of the Party and not the state. The Stasi would be equivalent to a large security apparatus working for the Republican Party to suppress political action by Democrats."
Parvelescu is on a roll.
"The GDR justified harsh measures against those who wanted to leave by citing the state's investment in education and training. That is the essence of the socialist bargain, no? We pay for your education, you belong to us."
Parvelescu leans back triumphantly, relishing the pleasure of flattening a first-year student. Not coincidentally, his new book The Socialist Bargain goes on sale next week.
Lily whispers something in Roderick's ear, something that sounds like "chuck" or "luck". Roderick just smiles. "Maybe later," he says, which for Roderick is code for "No, thank you."
After dinner, Roderick calls Mr. Smiley.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Mr. Smiley, this is Roderick."
"Hello, Roderick."
Roderick talks about his day, ending with Parvelescu's demolition of Rosa.
"Ah, the Berlin Wall," says Mr. Smiley, waxing wistful. "I was there with Miss Kitty the night the Wall came down. We made passionate love in the Potsdamerplatz near the wall. I went looking for the spot last summer, but there's nothing there but a HypoVereinsbank."
Hmm, thinks Roderick. Hypovereinsbank. An Aktiengesellschaft fur Konten, Kredite & Finanzierung, Geldenlage & Vorsorge. Banking sounds so much more interesting in German.
