Today is the Autumnal Equinox, the first day of Autumn. The Smileys pack the bubble van and prepare for the return to Smileyville.
But first, Sunday dinner at the Smiths. Everyone's coming, including Grandma and Grandpa. Roderick, Molly and Megan drove down from Old Ivy this morning; Mary Bloom caught the train from Lake City last night so she can attend together with Mr. and Mrs. Bloom, Margaret, Catherine and Mr. Fuzzums.
Miss Kitty declines to attend.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith serve dinner promptly at one. On the menu: roast pork, apple sauce (made from freshly harvested Beuneville Beauties); and little green things.
Grandma wants to know what everyone did for the summer.
"Well," says Mr. Smiley. "We took a boat to Europe and visited Brest, Mont. St. Michel, Giverny, Versailles and Paris. Then we took a train to Brussels and Amsterdam, after which we visited Cologne, Dusseldorf, Hamburg, Berlin, Leipzig, Prague, Vienna, Venice, Milan, Florence, Pisa, Rome, Naples, the Amalfi Coast and Capri. Then over to Marseilles, Nice, Cannes, a brief side trip to Barcelona, the Basque country, Gascony, then up the Loire and back to Paris, where we transferred to the Brest train and the steamer back to America."
"Wow!" says Megan. "Quite an itinerary!. What did you think of Europe?"
Mr. Smiley, pauses to ponder, then responds. "It was nice."
"They have very nice cheese in Amsterdam," Clotilde volunteers.
"We saw bubble cars in Milan" adds Mr. Smiley. "A remarkable collection."
"What about you, Molly?" asks Grandma. "What did you do this summer?"
"I learned Charles Ives' Concord Sonata, advanced a degree in karate and posed for the mural Natasha's doing for the Student Union at Old Ivy."
"A mural? That's wonderful! What's it called?"
"Molly Bloom's Moist Pink Vagina."
Mary Bloom, not wishing to be outdone by her older sister, boasts of her summer accomplishments. "I earned $30,000 through prostitution in Lake City this summer. That's all taxable income, of course, so I set up a Subchapter S corporation so I can write off my expenses: the large four-poster bed, velvet handcuffs, the maid's uniform and schoolgirl outfit, large quantities of Listerine and also the occasional abortion should the need arise."
Mr. Bloom leans toward Mr. Smith and whispers proudly: "She's majoring in Business."
Mr. Smith nods. "Clever girl."
"What did you do this summer, Roderick?"
Roderick swallows a bite of roast pork slathered in applesauce, and pushes the little green things to one side of his plate. "Oh, the usual. I worked at the canoe barn, polished the Roadmaster daily and interviewed at Old Ivy for the Jay Gould Society."
Megan is intrigued. "The Jay Gould Society? I interviewed for that, too! What did they ask about in the interview?"
"They just wanted to know why I'm interested in Business."
"They asked me the same thing. What did you tell them?"
"I told them I want to make a lot of money by any means necessary and shelter it all from taxes. How did you answer?"
Megan looks sheepish. "I told them I want do work towards gender equity and equal opportunity for women in business."
Roderick smiles awkwardly. He likes Megan, and thinks she's really creative and stuff, but really, sometimes she is just self-defeating and dumb. "Well," he says, hoping someone will change the subject, "I guess we'll hear from them pretty soon."
Megan spent the summer as one of several hundred unpaid interns at the Lake City Opera.
"That must be hard, being one of so many interns." says Mrs. Smith sympathetically, serving the pie.
"There are advantages," says Megan, spooning some ice cream. "I only had to blow the Maestro once."
Little Alexander, sitting patiently in his oddly-shaped and brightly colored high chair, is bored. "Want cheese!" he screams.
Clotilde indulges him with a nice piece of cheese. But that's to be expected because Smileys, as you know, like to indulge their children.
