"Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf!" says Muffin. "Arf! Arf, arf! Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf!"Megan's phone rings. It's Roderick. "Hi Megan."
"Muffin, shut up!" screams Mae Rose, throwing a shoe. Muffin deftly avoids the thrown shoe and runs out back, where Alice glides lazily on the rope swing.
"Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf!" Muffin continues to bark, seemingly at nothing.
Alice bestirs herself slightly on the swing. "Ma! Shut up the fucking dog!"
Suddenly, there is a queer swishing noise, and the sycamore disappears into a sinkhole with a ploop, taking Alice with it. Muffin, being defter at foot than Alice, escapes.
Mae Rose runs out of the house and stares at the gaping hole where her back yard used to be. "Holy shit!" she exclaims.
"Don't say I didn't try to warn you," says Muffin.
"Now I'll never be able to sell this dump," says Mae Rose.
At the memorial service for Alice, Dr. Feelgood offers a eulogy. "She was lovely, big-boned, lazy, ignorant and a slut, and had no redeeming qualities to compensate. In the end, she was taken by a sinkhole, which seems ironic in a way that I can't quite articulate."
A woman in the church sobs. "So young, so young..."
Muffin rolls her eyes. "Please..."
Dr. Feelgood grasps Mae Rose' hands. "I'm so sorry for your loss."
"You mean Alice? At least she was insured, which I can't say for my house."
"Hi Roderick." Megan's heart goes thumpety-thump.
"The Klemperers are over again and we need a fifth for Geschichte der Schweizer Eisenbahnen. Can you join us?"
"Is it the strip variation?"
"Yes." The Klemperers live dangerously, and play a mean game of Geschichte der Schweizer Eisenbahnen.
Megan hesitates. "I don't know...I really don't get that game." Last Sunday Megan lost big time, being completely naked before any other player had removed a stitch of clothing. Otto Klemperer had proposed upping the stakes to spanking, but Roderick saved Megan's bacon by feigning a need for bedtime.
"Just follow my lead and don't worry," says Roderick. "You can sleep over if you like."
That last point sold Megan. "Be right there," she says, breathlessly.
Megan arrives at the Smith house a few minutes later. The game is already set up. Berolina is blinged up, as is her custom when she plays strip Geschichte der Schweizer Eisenbahnen. Once again, Molly feels like living dangerously and wears a single garment, a sundress with no underwear. Her shoes are somewhere upstairs.
"Dealing!" says Otto, shuffling the cards and distributing five to each player. He places the remainder of the deck in the center and turns the top card face up. "Ach! Ze SBB CFF FFS Ae 4/7. Player to ze right of ze dealer remove one thing, pliss!" He leers at Megan, who sits to his immediate right.
"What? Already? We just started!" protests Megan, who didn't have time to bling up.
"It iss ze rules, you vill remove one item, pliss."
"Oh all right," says Megan, pouting as she removes one shoe. "I really don't get this game."
Play continues; Berolina, Roderick and Megan drop out of the hand, leading up to a showdown between Otto and Molly. Otto licks his lips. He's holding the BAM Ge 4/4, an almost unbeatable card; he imagines Molly naked, though he hardly has to imagine since she's sitting cross-legged and he can see her blonde bush.
"BAM!" he says, slapping down his card, leering expectantly.
Molly gazes at it for a moment and, hand trembling, reaches for the top button on her dress. With her other hand, she plays her card, the BLS Re 465. "Rated at 6400 kW, I believe the BLS Re beats the BAM Ge 4/4, which produces a mere 3200 kW."
Stunned, Otto stares at the card for a minute, then slowly removes a shoe.
"Wow!" says Roderick to Molly, admiringly. "How do you know so much about Swiss railway locomotives?"
Molly shrugs. "I studied."
After an hour of play, Megan and Otto are completely naked, while Roderick is down to his boxers and Berolina has removed all of her bling. Molly remains fully dressed, or at least as fully dressed as she started.
It's Molly's turn to deal. "So how does the spanking variation work?"
Otto and Berolina claim to be tired, and the game breaks up.
Shortly thereafter, Roderick lies in bed with nude Molly curled up on his left and nude Megan curled up on his right.
"Roderick?" whispers Megan.
"Yes?"
"When are you and Molly going to do it, so then we can do it?"
Roderick, mindful that Molly is still awake, tries to be tactful. "Oh, I don't know. We have another eighteen months before the deadline."
"Okay," says Megan, snuggling up against Roderick. "I'm waiting."
