There is no sex education in the schools of Beauneville, because the youth of Beauneville are not sexually active.
Actually, the second part of that sentence is not quite true. As in most towns, sexual activity among the youth of Beauneville ranges from none at all to rabid promiscuity. But the youth of Beauneville are smart; they understand that open and flagrant display of sexual activity simply leads to awkward discussions with parents and teachers; so the youth of Beauneville do not openly neck, pet, fondle or grope one another in public places, and they do not send or accept hopelessly sentimental and romantic love messages.
The educators of Beauneville are also smart. They have long since learned that the youth of Beauneville already know everything they need to know about sexual activity, and what they don't know they can learn in a moment on Wikipedia, the repository of all knowledge. Consequently, the educators of Beauneville see mandatory sex education as a waste of valuable classroom time, which could be better spent teaching Latin or Calculus.
The school nurse at Beauneville Latin does not distribute condoms. Students are expected to purchase their own condoms, which are available in aisle three of Zeppelin Drugs. Towards the back, next to incontinence aids.
If you need an abortion, see Dr. Cutlet in Stapleton. All major credit cards accepted.
Beauneville Latin does offer a class in Erotic Art and Literature, which is entirely in keeping with a core value of Beauneville Schools: anything is acceptable as long as it's tasteful.
Enrollment is robust.
After working all day at the boathouse, Roderick went to see Molly in the late afternoon. She invited him to stay for dinner. Per the usual custom, Mr. and Mrs. Bloom sat at the North and South ends of the table, respectively; Roderick and Molly on the West side; and Mary, Margaret and Catherine on the East side.
Mrs. Bloom served goulash, which Roderick ate with gusto.
Mr. Bloom paused between bites. "Well, Roderick", he boomed, with his big, loud voice: "are you sleeping with my daughter?"
Molly blushed slightly. Roderick paused.."Um...".
Mr. Bloom looked stern. "Well, why the hell not!". And everyone burst out laughing, except Catherine, who didn't get the joke.
Mrs. Bloom slapped the table. "Henry, you say the funniest things!"
Catherine looked puzzled. Margaret whispered something to her, and she smiled.
After dinner, Roderick and Molly sat close together on the big comfy sofa on the porch and chatted about...things. Molly wondered if Roderick was planning to take Erotic Art and Literature in the Fall. Roderick said he thought he might.
