The Moonbug is a remarkable bug. Once per decade, in years that end with a zero, the Moonbugs come out to play in the moonlight on the night of the summer solstice. They dance a slow mating dance, in the form of a sarabande, and choose their mates (with due care to find one with compatible qualities). At dawn, the dance ends; the Moonbugs quickly consummate their passions, deposit eggs near a dormant puffberry plant, and die. To avoid messy endings, the Moonbugs generally fly to a convenient compost heap and burrow into it before they expire.Mr. Smiley paused, and sipped his drink. He was pleased that Moonbugs avoid messy endings. He read on:
Moonbug eggs lie dormant for nine summer solstices, and hatch into larvae on the tenth. The larval stage lasts only until moonrise, at which point the larvae transform themselves into snazzy and brightly-colored little insects. No doubt the reader would like to know what Moonbugs look like. This is problematic, however, as no two Moonbugs look alike. Some are solid colors; others have dots, or stripes, or plaid.Mr. Smiley took another sip. "That is problematic", he said out loud.
"Hmmm?" asked Clothilde.
"Did you know that no two Moonbugs look alike?"
"Why, no, I didn't."
Moonbugs have no known predators, for two reasons. First, Moonbugs taste nasty to birds and other likely predators. The other reason is that since Moonbugs are only out and about one night every decade, an animal that did develop a taste for Moonbugs would be hungry most of the time.Mr. Smiley felt that was a good thing for Moonbugs, but perhaps not so great for hypothetical predators. Mr. Smiley feels empathy for all beings, even hypothetical nasty ones.
Moonbugs live until they mate or until they are squished. Moonbugs who survive one hundred and fifty years without mating or squishing die of old age.Mr. Smiley made a note not to squish the Moonbugs. It shortens their lives.
Moonbugs are virtually indistinguishable from Spoonbugs. The sole difference is the propensity of Spoonbugs to dine with tiny spoons, which they fashion from twigs and carry in a tiny pouch.Mr. Smiley pondered that one. He certainly did not want to confuse a Moonbug with a Spoonbug. That would be a faux pas. Mr. Smiley does not know what a faux pas is, but is certain he wants to avoid one.
Moonbugs prefer to be addressed by their first names. If you don't know a Moonbug's first name, ask him: he'll tell you. Moonbugs speak perfect English.Mr. Smiley's cuckoo watch cuckooed eight times. He checked his almanac: full moon tonight!
"I'd better stay awake", he said, and shivered with anticipation.
