Smileyville Rose Garden is well known to devotees of the Rosaceae family for the abundance of its blooms. Smileyville Duck Pond is well known to waterfowl everywhere, since Smileys are noted for their kindness to animals. A migrating mallard can rest assured that a stopover at Smileyville Duck Pond will not end on the business end of a barbecue spit, and may be good for a fine meal, for the resident ducks secretly practice the culinary arts at a high level.
Mr. Smiley scans his sermon for the day -- the part of the service Smileys refer to as "nice words":
Christmas is almost here. (Pause. Look up from paper. Eye contact. Smile. Wait for Smileys to smile back and wave). Some say that Christmas is not all about Santa. (Pause. Look up from paper. Frown. Wait for uncomfortable reaction from Smileys. Frown some more). We like Santa. (Pause. Wait for applause.) Because He brings us presents. (Grin. Wait for ovation. Segue to rhythmic clapping).
He frowns, and wonders if his sermon is too long, but decides the message is important, and the congregation can tolerate a little extra length this time of year, especially if he reminds them of the extra snacks.
Meanwhile, in Beauneville, Mr. Bloom packs his suitcase. He's off to Santa Margherita to support the international rollout of the "Wicketts WTF?" campaign. (It turns out that "WTF" does not translate well). Second daughter Mary Bloom watches him pack, and wishes for the day when she, too can travel -- perhaps as an international call girl. The thought makes her shiver.
Molly, the eldest daughter, who at the moment is engaged with Busoni on the Bosendorfer, is indifferent to Mr. Bloom's departure. Their relationship is a little strained lately: you know how it is with older teens who decline to accept their parents' values. Mr. Bloom, for his part, thinks Molly is a little slow. Oh, sure, she gets perfect grades in school, is a second-degree black belt in karate and a pianist of considerable accomplishment. And yes, she shows great promise in nude modeling; but exactly when does she plan to lose her virginity? Mr. Bloom has stopped asking.
Mary, on the other hand, is the apple of his eye, an expression not widely used in Beauneville due to the pervasiveness of Malus Domestica in the life of the town.
Mr. Vanderbilt, CEO and sole proprietor of Beauneville Taxi, arrives out front in his shiny Checker Marathon. With a cheery wave, Mr. Bloom is off for Santa Margherita, land of endless sun and loose morals.
