Hooray for Jesus

Today is Quinquagesima, which is also called Estomihi. In the St. Cecilia Chapel, the Old Ivy Bach Chorale performs J.S. Bach's Cantata BWV 23, Du wahrer Gott und Davids Sohn. Emily Scharf sings the Soprano solo, Mrs Dowager sings the Alto solo and a ringer sings the Tenor solo. There is no Bass solo, but Zack fondles Emily's buttocks firmly during the Chorale.

Mr. Throb of the Theology faculty, who is on a roll, delivers the inspirational message for the third week in a row.

"Today is Quinquagesima" he orates from the altar, "which is also called Estomihi or Shrove Sunday. 'Estomihi" comes from the first two words of the traditional Introit for today, Esto mihi in Deum protectorem, et in locum refugii, ut salvum me facias. This means something in Latin, but don't ask me what because I don't know.

"Today is the last Sunday before Ash Wednesday, which means you have three more days of fun left. For a good time, call me.

"The Biblical text for today is Luke 18:31-43, which I will read aloud:

And it came to pass, that as he was come nigh unto Jericho, a certain blind man sat by the way side begging:
And hearing the multitude pass by, he asked what it meant.

And they told him, that Jesus of Nazareth passeth by.

And he cried, saying, Jesus, thou son of David, have mercy on me.

And they which went before rebuked him, that he should hold his peace: but he cried so much the more, Thou son of David, have mercy on me.

And Jesus stood, and commanded him to be brought unto him: and when he was come near, he asked him,

Saying, What wilt thou that I shall do unto thee? And he said, Lord, that I may receive my sight.

And Jesus said unto him, Receive thy sight: thy faith hath saved thee.

And immediately he received his sight, and followed him, glorifying God: and all the people, when they saw it, gave praise unto God.

Mr. Throb beams at the congregation. "I wouldn't mind running into this Jesus -- I can hardly read a restaurant menu anymore, especially when the lights are dim." He pauses, amid scattered chuckles. "Of course, if you've ever seen my wife you know that myopia can be a blessing."

The congregation bursts into laughter.

"Mama told me I'd go blind if I masturbate. But with Jesus, it doesn't matter!"

Uproarious laughter.

"How do you like that, folks? This Jesus is really something, huh? He's walking down the street and there's this blind guy sitting there and Jesus goes 'poof' and the blind guy can see again. Isn't that marvelous? Let's hear it for Jesus!"

Loud applause. Mr. Pipes strikes up a rousing recessional.