The KulturPunks phenomenon never really caught on in Beauneville, because the parents and teachers of Beauneville tolerate culture. To understand why, consider the case of Henry Witherspoon.
One day, Henry Witherspoon read about KulturPunks in the New York Times. After reading about Romanticism in Wikipedia (the repository of all knowledge) he decided to devote his life to the pursuit of the sublime and picturesque.
"Mom! Dad!", he shouted when he returned home after school, "I want to devote my life to the pursuit of the sublime and picturesque!"
"That's nice, dear", said Mrs. Witherspoon, as she knitted a sock. Mrs. Witherspoon's hobby is the knitting of socks. She is quite skilled at this, and persistent in her hobby, and as a result the Witherspoon family has many pairs of socks, lovely socks, in many bright colors.
"Excellent choice, son", said Mr. Witherspoon, lighting his pipe. "I'm proud of you. Let's go down to the Stapleton and get some art supplies."
Mr. Witherspoon fired up his dark green 1951 Nash Statesman 2-door and they motored down the Cidertown Road to Stapleton. There, Henry bought easels, paper, sketchbooks, oils, acrylics and all sorts of other art supplies.
Returning home, Henry set about drawing and sketching with rare fervor. Everything in sight, he sketched: chipmunks in the garden, mushrooms growing in the back yard, the old cider mill down by the mill pond, whatever.
But his greatest talent was drawing people. Everyone commented on this; Henry's portraits seemed to have a life of their own, as if the warmth and energy of the subject radiated from within.
Mr. and Mrs. Witherspoon encouraged this. "Henry", they would say, "we encourage you to pursue the sublime and picturesque".
Mrs. Witherspoon knitted extra socks for Henry. "Artists need extra socks", she would say, "to keep their feet warm". Henry had to agree. There was simply no substitute for warm feet when drawing a portrait.
Henry took Mr. Bellini's painting class at Beauneville Latin. He did well in Still Life, and his Landscapes were inspired, in the manner of Thomas Cole. One day, however, the class turned to Human Figure; Molly Bloom stepped into the room and with a quick motion her shirt and shorts lay on the floor.
Henry was entranced.
That afternoon, after school, he asked his father to drive him to Stapleton on a secret errand. There, in a tattoo parlor, he had the initials "KP" engraved on his left forearm.
