Go West from Stapleton on the Cidertown Road if you want to get to Beauneville. Cross the Rushing River on a steel girder bridge -- your tires will hum on the grating -- then up a slight grade and through the rolling orchard country of Washington County. A few miles down the road, you may feel a slight bumpety-bump where trolley tracks once crossed the road.
Just past the bumpety-bump, watch for a large wooden apple-shaped sign by the side of the road. If you look closely, you can see faded lettering: Welcome to Beauneville.
Keep going on the Cidertown Road. There is a slight rise in the road, and trees on either side of the street, then a parade of stately Victorian homes. An old stone church interjects on the right-hand side of the street, and a great lawn on the left. Set well back behind the lawn you will see a sprawling mansion, and as you pass you can see a sign in front: Beaune Estate: Public Museum and Library.
We're almost to the center of town, but pay attention or you may miss it. After the estate, you may notice that the buildings are closer together and the trees thin out. On the left, Ackermann's Market occupies several adjoining storefronts. A short distance later, there is a traffic light -- the only light in town. Across the street on the opposite corner, you will see Zeppelin Drugs.
When the light turns green, proceed on Main Street -- that's what they call the Cidertown Road in town. On either side of the street, there are various and sundry businesses, such as Dorabella's Books on the right, and the Cafe Venice across the street.
The trees return in the next block. There are more homes on the left side, and on the right side a complex of buildings, with signs: Beauneville Grammar, Beauneville Academy and Beauneville Latin.
Now the road descends gently, the trees and homes thin out, and on the left you will see a large pond. If you visit in summer, you will certainly see canoes on the water -- many canoes.
There is no sign when you leave Beauneville, but you will know you are leaving if you see Uncle Dave's Farm on the left-hand side. Nobody knows exactly why it's called Uncle Dave's Farm. Presumably, it was owned and operated by some guy named Dave, who was somebody's uncle. The current proprietor is Rufus Lipschitz.
You will also see orchards on either side of the road, because wherever you go in Washington County there are oceans of orchards wherever you look. But stop! Don't leave yet! There are more things to see and do in Beauneville.
After you make the U-turn and pass the pond, take your first right. As you drive along this quiet residential street, note that the street names ascend alphabetically, and they are mostly named for trees: Nutmeg, Olive, Peach, Quince and, well, Railroad. Turn left at that last street, and you will note that it is aptly named, for there is a set of railroad tracks embedded in the pavement.
Drive carefully on Railroad Avenue, and keep an eye out for Beauneville Municipal Railway's engine number one, a squat green diesel with a center cab. It's hard to miss; they keep the diesel spotlessly clean and shiny because, to be perfectly honest, there's not that much freight to haul anymore.
A few blocks further down Railroad Avenue, you will see a Big Bob's Big Burger franchise on the left next to Mr. Smiley's gas station. If you are hungry, drive right past Big Bob's -- everyone else does -- and park near the Red Trolley Diner on the corner.
Local foodies know that the Red Trolley is the best place to eat in Beauneville; really, it's the only place to eat in Beauneville (Big Bob's doesn't count). Go inside and check out the menu: the Red Trolley is a great place for scrapple and applesauce, the local favorite; Beauneville Ham is always on the menu, and so are various kinds of apple desserts: apple pie, apple crisp, apple brown betty, apple cake, apple crullers, apple custard, apple flan, baked apples, and so forth.
But don't stop at the first page of the menu. The hungry traveler will be surprised to learn that the Red Trolley has curries, many lovely curries: Red Curry, Green Curry and Yellow Curry; curries from Bengal, Moojarat and Punjab; the incredibly fiery curry of Pish-Tush; and the most magnificent curry of all, the Masaman Curry.
If the curries and local foods don't inspire, try the Daily Special. But here's a little secret of Red Trolley etiquette: order the Daily Special if you will, but do not ask what it is. Rest assured, the Daily Special will be special, but if you ask what it is you will not be served. You may sit at your table until closing if you wish, but you will not be served. It's just something you need to know if you dine at the Red Trolley.
If you are intrigued, perhaps you would like to stay the night in Beauneville. If you know someone in town, go there; otherwise, head back to Stapleton and check in to the Station Hotel; it's seedy, and they charge by the hour, but the bedbugs aren't too bad. Get a room in the back, lest the freight trains out front disturb your sleep.
If you have some time to kill in Stapleton, check out the Bowl-A-Drome. On a summer evening, it's fairly crowded with teens. If you walk around outside, be careful of dark places; you may disturb a couple seeking privacy.
