Before she was infected with culture, Natasha Zemlinsky was a normal healthy slutty teen at Pacific High. She had more than four hundred Facebook friends, and more than a thousand Twitter followers. Thanks to grade inflation, she was an honor student (together with all of her classmates), though she never cracked a textbook.
One day, Natasha walked down the long corridor of Pacific High on her way to an underage drinking party when one of her Facebook friends, Mitsy Buffalo, beckoned to her from a dark alcove.
"Pssst, Natasha, over here!"
Natasha hesitated. Frankly, she thought Mitsy was a little odd lately. But it's an unwritten rule of Facebook friends -- one should never decline an invitation from friends in dark alcoves.
"What's up?" asked Natasha. She wrinkled her nose. Mitsy was wearing classic well-made clothes, quite a contrast to Natasha's "Ima Ho" style halter type and short pants. Not good. Could be trouble.
"Come in here!" whispered Mitsy. She grabbed Natasha's arm and pulled her into a small room. Natasha protested, but Mitsy was strong and wouldn't let go until Natasha was completely inside the room. The door closed with a bang, and Mitsy stood in front of it. Natasha was trapped.
She looked around the room. The blinds were drawn. On the far side of the room, three students played one of Mendelssohn's trios for piano, violin and cello. A few other students sat on the floor and listened raptly. Several other students seemed entranced by some original paintings on the wall.
"Wait a minute!", exclaimed Natasha, "you're...you're..."
"KulturPunks!" said Mitsy proudly, standing close to Natasha and invading her personal space. "And here you are! So...are you with us, or are you with them?" Mitsy spit out the word.
Natasha bolted for the door, but Mitsy and two boys grabbed her and dragged her kicking and screaming into the middle of the room. "No!" shouted Natasha, "I won't listen! I won't listen!".
She struggled violently, but the boys were too strong, and they pinned her to the floor. Desparately, she tried to escape, but Mitsy and the boys were determined, and they held her fast. Soon, she realized that struggle was hopeless, and she gave up.
At that moment, she realized that the music sounded nice. She listened.
From that moment, Natasha was a KulturPunk.
