Paula Perky: Paula Perky here for News Center Five Action News. Shocking scenes here at Bedford Glen High. Right now, if we zoom the camera in over my shoulder (camera zooms) you can see students lined up waiting to be searched. If we pan over to my right (camera pans) you can see a group of students who police want to question. Earlier today.. if we can roll the video...we saw a number of students placed into custody by the police...(video rolls...shot of students in handcuffs and black hoods being dragged to police vans). School officials had little to say:
(Perky's Voice): Superintendent Cheeseman, can you tell us what's going on?
Superintendent Cheeseman: I have little to say.
Paula Perky: We asked several students for reaction:
(Perky's Voice): How do you feel about what's happening here?
Girl: Um..it's, like...ohmigod, I'm on camera!
Boy: Um....
Girl: Is something happening?
Boy: Well, um, they like searched us and...stuff, and it, like sucks.
Paula Perky: The voices of today's teens. Back to you, Chet.
Chet Stark, Anchorman: Great reporting, Paula. Any idea what the police are looking for?
Paula Perky: We have an unconfirmed report that it has something to do with something on iPods, but we're still trying to chase that down.
Chet Stark: Okay, Paula. In other news, City Hall reports that Bedford Glen now has more McMansions per capita than any other city in America...
Back at the Diversity War Room, Federal Diversity Police had taken charge. Outside, a black helicopter hovered briefly and landed; a tough-looking woman in a business suit climbed out of the helicopter and strode quickly towards the building, bent over against the propwash. Men in black saluted as she passed. She stepped into the building, and was escorted into the War Room by Federal agents.
The War Room was in a state of bedlam: phones ringing, men in suits running hither and thither, men in black shouting orders, TV monitors blaring. All fell silent, however, when the woman stepped into the room. She cleared her throat.
"I'm Husky!", she declared. "Donna Husky! Diversity! I'm in charge here! Status reports!"
Several men in black leapt forward, waving dossiers.
"Stand down!", barked Husky, glaring at the men. "If I wanted all of them at once I would've asked for them all at once, now wouldn't I? Crime Scene?"
"Secure!", responded one of the men.
"Forensics?"
"Working!"
"Interrogation?"
There was no response.
"Interrogation?"
Still no response.
"Where the fuck is my Interrogation report? You maggots have two seconds to produce my Interrogation report or I will tear your heads off and wipe the floor with your worthless bodies! Now move it!"
A door in the back of the War Room opened and a gorgeous redhead dressed in a strapless black dress sashayed into the room, holding a dossier. She walked slowly towards Donna Husky, hips swinging, and handed her the dossier.
"Your Interrogation Report, Ms. Husky" said the redhead. Husky glared at her. The redhead turned and exited, slowly.
Husky glanced at it briefly. Suddenly a secure telephone rang. One of the men in black answered, spoke briefly, then held the phone out for Husky. "It's for you, sir. The President".
Husky took the phone. "Husky!" She listened quietly, nodding. "Yes, Sir!" She handed the phone back to the man in black. "OK, pack it up! We're pulling out! Where's Cheeseman?"
Mr. Cheeseman protested. "What do you mean, pulling out? What about our teens?"
Husky looked mildly sympathetic. "Orders. There's nothing more we can do here. Your teens are contaminated with culture".
