The Forum in ruins, Rome ablaze, Mrs. Zemlinsky cowered behind some jars of olive oil. A band of barbarians burst into the closet, stripped her of her toga, dragged her naked to the atrium and threw her to the ground roughly at the feet of their chieftain. He glowered lustily at Mrs. Zemlinsky, who groveled at his feet.
The chieftain pointed his whip at Mrs. Zemlinsky. "You will show us the cheese!"
"No, please!", sobbed Mrs. Zemlinsky. "Not the cheese! I beg you!"
Thwack! "Roman whore! We are Barbarians! You will show us your secret cheese closet, or..."
The first thing Mrs. Zemlinsky noticed when she awoke was the velvet hand-and-ankle cuffs that restrained her to the bed. She lifted her head and looked around the stateroom.
"Guido, you can release me now". Guido, however, was catering to the needs of the American co-ed they picked up in Bari -- her name was Kimberly, or Jennifer, or something. Between her sophomore and junior years at Enormous State University, she traveled to Italy in the Study Abroad! program, seeking Italian culture -- an ample dose of which she was now receiving.
The stateroom door opened, and Mr. Zemlinsky entered dressed as an SS Hauptsturmfuhrer. "Albert, you look ridiculous in that outfit", said Mrs. Zemlinsky. She tugged at her restraints. "Now let me out of these, please, I have to pee. And it's my turn to be in control".
Mr. Zemlinsky approached the bed and looked down at the helpless Mrs. Zemlinsky. With his swagger stick, he traced a line from her neck to her navel. "I think not...", he murmured.
Meanwhile, in Beauneville, Natasha decided to have a baby.
"I'm sixteen", she thought. "And fertile". Natasha stood before the full-length mirror in her bedroom, naked except for her ankle bracelets. She felt her boobs, one in each hand, and imagined nursing a baby. If you could look over Natasha's shoulder in the mirror, you would most certainly agree - she is fertile and ripe.
Suddenly, it all came together for Natasha, and she understood the meaning and purpose of her existence. Her passion for Angel of the City, for example, and why she enhanced Molly's figure in certain ways. She was searching for Artemis.
Natasha cocked her head to one side. Plus, she thought, maybe Mom and Dad will pay more attention. She thought fondly of her childhood days in Vienna, when Grandpa would take her to the little playground in the Resselpark, near the Karlskirche. "Hup, hup, hup!", Grandpa would say, and send her spinning on the little spinner thing, her jet black hair flying.
Afterwards, Grandpa and Grandma would take her to one of the cafes in the Wipplingerstrasse, or the Hohenstaufengasse, or -- if they were feeling particularly spry -- the Schreyvogelgasse. Little Natasha would press her nose to the glass of the pastry case, azure eyes bug-eyed; but no matter what she saw in the case, she always asked for a cream puff, which Grandpa would always buy. And lovely cream puffs they were, very puffy, and full of creamy cream.
Natasha released her boobs. Questions, many questions. First -- whose baby to have? Roderick, perhaps? He's nice, she thought, but unlikely. Jock? Well, there's the thumpety-thump factor in his favor. But Natasha just finished reading The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo, and she wasn't sure about coupling with someone from a culture that breeds racist misogynist rapist serial killers. Dickie Wickett? The baby would be smart, but no. Henry Witherspoon? Hmmm.
What about the "how"? Natasha considered and rejected the direct approach: wrapping her arms around Henry's neck and whispering in his ear: "I want to have your baby!". No. A more subtle approach would be better: a passionate moment or two, an "accidental" forgetting to use birth control, followed by "I couldn't possibly have an abortion!". Natasha smiled. Yes, she thought, that will work.
She lit a candle before the little statue of Artemis she bought last year in Istanbul.
Meanwhile, Megan Cupcake flirted with Roderick at the boathouse; Roderick returned the flirt. Molly opened a long-awaited letter. Katie Zeppelin, working the register at the drugstore, wondered how she could hook up with Roderick. Jock and Bibi relaxed in the hot tub vizout ze clothings. And Amanda Dennis...well, Amanda's story will have to wait for another chapter.
