Roderick awoke on Thursday at six-thirty, showered and ran downstairs to the breakfast table where, per usual, a plate of hot scrapple and warm applesauce awaited.
The Smiths like to chat over breakfast, about things that matter: scrapple, the apple harvest, news about the Bloom girls or Roderick's friends, gossipy stuff and so forth.
Mrs. Smith sipped her coffee. "You've been seeing a lot of Megan Cupcake", she said to Roderick, who sensed an implied follow-up question.
"Yes, she likes me to come over to her house when her parents are out and read erotic literature in Latin".
"That sounds like fun. Is she interested in sex?"
Roderick took a bite of scrapple, and nodded. "Yes, very much so."
Mr. Smith shifted in his chair. "Megan Cupcake...she's the buxom and bubbly girl who lives up the street, right?"
"That's right", said Roderick. "Also, she carries a Glock".
"How does Molly feel about you getting involved with her?" Mr. Smith is a bit more conservative than Mrs. Smith. His code is that you don't do stuff that might make others feel bad, or at least don't get caught doing it. Also, he generally disapproves of people having sex with multiple partners, although if you really press him it's clear that he only really cares about this point as it applies to Mrs. Smith.
"It's complicated", explained Roderick. "Molly and I are kind of a couple, and we're secretly pledged to one another, but Molly doesn't really think about that sort of thing because mostly she thinks about playing Beethoven, and since there are lots of times when she's busy practicing she doesn't at all mind if I spend time with Megan or Bibi or someone else. And everyone else assumes that Molly and I are a couple even though our pledge to one another is secret and unspoken, so when the girls hit on me they know it's not 'serious' because if they wanted a 'serious' relationship they would not hit on someone they think is coupled up with Molly. And its fun to fool around with the other girls, who are really hot, but Molly and I have sworn to one another that we will be each others' 'first', and we haven't done that yet, and we don't know when that will happen, it may not happen for a long time or we might do it tomorrow during lunch break."
"Would you like some more scrapple, dear?" inquired Mrs. Smith.
"I sure would, Mom!" Roderick loves scrapple, especially this time of year, when it's made from Beauneville's Best, and the applesauce is made from Beauneville Beauties. He did not ask for more applesauce. He did not need to ask; the rule in Beauneville is that when scrapple is served, it is served with applesauce.
