Thursday, October 18, 2012

Cyathos et Gladios

Once admitted to Cyathos et Gladios, there is no exit other than death; all memberships are life memberships. There is only one way to enter: in October, each student member brings one prospective member to the first meeting. Once the prospect crosses the threshold of the House, membership attaches and cannot be revoked by either party.

Student members seeking new members pose a single question: "Cyathos et Gladios, yes or no?". "Yes" is the only acceptable response. Here is a sample of unacceptable responses:

"No."
"What?"
Wordless penetrating stare.
"What's Cyathos et Gladios?"
"I'd like to think about it"

In the world of Cyathos et Gladios, there are two kinds of people: those who belong, and those who do not belong. There are several kinds of people who do not belong, including those who will never be asked and those who are asked but fail to respond in the affirmative. But the distinctions among various types of non-belongers is trivial; for members, it is simply "us" and "those people."

What kind of people belong to Cyathos et Gladios? It's a secret organization, so it's hard to say precisely, but we can draw inferences by how members are selected. Consider the following exchange that took place two days ago, near the fireplace in Old Ivy's Founders Hall. David Overguard, a third year student and life member, approached Benton Micklethwhaite, a first year student.

David offered the standard challenge: "Cyathos et Gladios, yes or no?"

Benton looked up from his Blackberry. "Dude, what?"

Benton Micklethwaite is not Cyathos et Gladios material.

A few minutes later, David spotted Rose Gharden standing near the patio. He bounded to her side and challenged: "Cyathos et Gladios, yes or no?"

Rose, a sixth-generation Old Ivy student, was ready. "Yes!" She was so thrilled that she ran back to her room and called her parents, then played with sex toys.

One more example: yesterday, Barton Fig approached Wendy Forkelsen with the standard challenge: "Cyathos et Gladios, yes or no?"

"Yes!" Wendy has never heard of Cyathos et Gladios, but is well known in her hometown for her willingness to say "yes" to anything.

Thus, Cyathos et Gladios is comprised of the very well-networked and the very adventurous.

Why did Lily Chang invite Roderick to join? There may be many reasons.

For example, Lily may know that Roderick's father and grandfather are members.

Alternatively, she may just want to get into Roderick's pants. If you know Lily, you will agree that this is very plausible.

It's also possible that Lily's father wants to roll out Stars and Stripes, the All-American Ale to the greater Beauneville market, and asked Lily to invite a native Beaunevillean to join.

Since it's a secret society, we will never know.

Last night, Anna saw Roderick climb the porch steps of a beautiful Victorian home across the street from the Old Ivy Quad. She saw him open the door and cross the threshold.

What happened next is a secret.

An hour later, Roderick joined Anna in the St. Cecilia Chapel to rehearse Bach's Cantata BWV 136, Erforsch Mich, Gott und Erfahre Mein Herz. After that, he returned to his room, where Megan joined him to work on Logic.

Megan slept over because she was afraid to walk back to her room so late at night. First, she checked with Roderick to see if he minded her sleeping in the nude, since she is much more comfortable that way.

Roderick didn't mind.

This morning, she's still there.