Meanwhile, on Dogwood Avenue a few blocks away, pert and perky Katie Zeppelin awakes, opens her laptop and logs in to Facebook. There are a number of interesting messages waiting.
In the house next door, Dickie Wickett also browses Facebook. In the upper right-hand corner of his screen, under People You May Know, he sees Katie's picture. It's a very nice picture, very flattering, and it conveys her pert and perky personality.
Dickie pauses, thinking she never gives me the time of day, then shrugs and clicks Add As Friend. A little box opens and Facebook prompts Add Katie Zeppelin As Friend? Dickie hesitates, then thinks nothing ventured, nothing gained, and clicks Send Request.
He exhales, and wonders if Katie will respond.
Something attracts his attention. It's the little indicator at the top left of his screen, which now shows that a notification awaits. He clicks and reads the notice: Katie Zeppelin accepted your friend request.
"Yes!" he squeals, fist-pumping. "Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" He believes that sexual relations will soon follow.
At morning sign-in, Katie checks Facebook on her iPad. She has a number of interesting messages waiting, which she browses. Sarah Flapper and her entourage are nearby, and they start giggling. Amanda Dennis scribbles something in her notebook. Katie, suddenly aware of the attention, looks up. "What?"
In Latin class, Mr. Horace hands Katie a note. It's from Mrs. Feelgood, the school counselor:
Katie,Katie folds the note and wonders what it's about. She notices Becky and her entourage giggling again.
Please come see me at lunchtime.
Mrs. Feelgood
Meanwhile, Mary Bloom sits awkwardly in Miss Agassiz's study hall. The room is quite noisy as her classmates chat, throw things and carry on. Mary sits quietly and completes a Science worksheet. Every few minutes Miss Agassiz paces past and pauses to correct some minor detail on the worksheet. Towards the end of the hour, she plasters a bright yellow Post-It square in the middle of the sheet with the note See Me After School! Mary feigns fear and loathing, but smiles when Miss Agassiz moves on.
After Latin class, Katie walks down the hall with Roderick and Megan. Roderick is about to invite her to join them for lunch -- he thinks it would be nice to get to know Katie -- but she pauses at the door to Mrs. Feelgood's office. "I have to go see her", she says, gesturing to the office. She waves to Roderick, who waves back.
Megan giggles. When Katie is out of sight, she whispers, "She can't say 'no'". The irony of the comment is lost on her, as in the thrall of gossip she has neglected to consider her own limited ability to defer gratification, at least so far as sex is concerned.
"Really?", says Roderick. He doesn't think that's such a bad thing. He really must get to know Katie a little better.
Mrs. Feelgood greets Katie warmly and invites her to sit in a comfy chair. There is a box of tissues on the coffee table.
Katie sits on the edge of the chair. "Why did you want to see me, Mrs. Feelgood?"
Mrs. Feelgood sits in another comfy chair close to Katie's chair and leans forward. "Now you know that this talk is just between us, right? Nothing goes beyond these walls." Mrs. Feelgood really means this, though she does take the tapes home for transcribing and her son, Dirk, likes to listen to them for fun.
"Um..yes?"
"So let's just talk woman to woman, okay?"
"Um...OK."
"Now you know that if a boy asks you to do...certain things...it's okay to say 'no'."
Katie nods, but she's not sure where this is going.
"You don't have to do...certain things...just so the boys will think you're 'A-OK'."
Katie nods.
"And you know that if you're a little too easy about...certain things...the boys won't respect you."
Again, Katie nods. She has an idea where this is going.
"You don't have to talk about this if you don't want to but...you know how girls are, they talk, and well...some of them say that you are just a teensy bit casual about accepting Facebook "friend" requests from people you don't know."
Katie sucks in her breath. There it is, out in the open, the mask ripped off her dark and dirty secret. Her eyes tear up, and she looks down in shame.
"And, well, girls can be awfully mean sometimes but...I know this is awkward...they say that sometimes you send friend requests to people Facebook says you might know even though...you don't really know them."
It's true, of course. Katie is a Facebook Slut.
Katie lashes out angrily. "What's wrong with that? I just want to live my life with love, and passion, and to exchange secret comments and "likes" with strangers, because they make me feel good, and it's exciting, and it's so much better than..." she gestures around her in frustration, "...all this."
Mrs. Feelgood gazes at Katie as she ventilates, beaming her characteristic unconditional warmth, love and empathy while simultaneously noting the deep and empty cravings in her stomach, as she skipped breakfast this morning and desperately wants a bacon double cheeseburger with all the fixin's and steak fries -- the hand-cut kind -- from the Red Trolley, only she has to be back at school by one and this kid won't shut up. Furtively, she glances at the clock.
"We have to stop now", she says kindly, "but why don't you come back next week at this same time? And try to remember that it's okay for you to be you and for me to be me. And here's something for you to read in your spare time." She handed Katie a book titled When I Say Yes, It Really Means Go Fuck Yourself.
Katie steps furtively into the hallway, hoping nobody sees her with her eyes red and puffy. Of course, Betsy and her entourage are standing directly by the door. They point and giggle. Katie ignores them, turns, and with her head held high, strides toward the picnic tables. Meanwhile, Mrs. Feelgood makes a beeline for the parking lot.
Outside, Katie bites into her sandwich and fires up the iPad. There are sixteen new friend acceptances, and twelve new friend requests. Good, she thinks. Enough chit-chat. Time to get busy.
She checks her NewsFeed. There are hundreds of updates from Dickie Wickett. She clicks Hide.
After school, Mary Bloom nervously knocks on Miss Agassiz's door. Miss Agassiz, it seems, wants to discuss...certain things.
