It's the evening of the Harvest Dance, and the Blooms are in a bit of a tizzy. It's Mary's first date!
Well...Molly's not in a tizzy; she's playing etudes on the Bosendorfer. Molly plans to walk over to Roderick's house and meet him there; they will go to the dance, stay for awhile, then leave and smooch somewhere. Who knows? Perhaps tonight they will fulfill that certain pledge they have with one another. Maybe not. Either way, Molly figures she will sleep at Roderick's tonight.
Donny Clapper arrives punctually, at seven, in his "muscle" car. Actually, it's a VW Cabriolet, the classic "chick" car -- Mrs. Clapper loves it -- but when he revs the engine at stop lights it pleases him to think that he can beat anything other than a bicycle off the line.
Catherine greets Donny and welcomes him with gusto. Incomprehensibly, she is dressed as if she, too, is going to the dance. She offers Donny a seat in the living room, and informs him about the quality of her day. Mr. Fuzzums is duly introduced.
Mr. Bloom enters the living room and welcomes Donny, who stands respectfully and shakes the proffered hand. "Hi, Mr. Bloom, sir".
"Catherine, why don't you and Mr. Fuzzums check and see if Mary is ready yet", says Mr. Bloom, taking a seat in his chair across from Donny. He winks at Donny, as if to say 'we men are always waiting for our women, aren't we?' Donny smiles. Catherine and Mr. Fuzzums exeunt.
Mr. Bloom leans toward Donny and takes a more serious mien. "Now, Donny, I'm a little 'old-fashioned' about some things, but I hope you understand that Mary is a nice girl, not like some of those girls in school you may be used to dating"
Donny's eyes widened. "Oh, sir, of course, I think Mary is just the keenest girl in school".
Catherine yells down the stairway: "She's not ready yet!"
"She's a virgin, you know, and wants to stay that way".
"Of course, sir. Wouldn't have thought anything else."
"So after the dance, if you're thinking of going somewhere to 'park' or 'pet' or whatever it is that teens do, just remember that there are extra fees for that sort of thing."
"Oh, of course, sir. I understand."
"Good, then we understand each other, man to man." Mr. Bloom stands and shakes hands with Donny.
"Tarantara, tarantara!" calls Catherine, as she and Mr. Fuzzums lead Mary and Mrs. Bloom down the steps. Margaret is in her room, solving differential equations.
Mary wears a white blouse, plaid skirt, woolen knee socks and penny loafers, which seems a little incongruous for the Harvest Dance, but everyone cuts her slack because it's her first date, and also because Mary is gorgeous no matter what she wears.
"Gosh, Mary, you look swell!", says Donny.
"Excuse me, Donny, I'd like to have a brief chat with my baby girl, if you don't mind," says Mr. Bloom, putting his arm around Mary and shepherding her into the library.
"Make it quick, Henry!" says Mrs. Bloom, winking at Donny. "We don't want to keep these young people waiting, do we?"
In the library, Mr. Bloom turns to Mary and put his arm on her shoulder. "Now this is a big day today...and I want you to promise me that no matter how much fun you're having with Donny that you'll be responsible..."
Mary nodded, and smiled.
"...and if Donny wants to 'pet' or 'neck', you just say no, thank you, unless he's willing to pay for it. And always remember: money up front."
Mary hugs Mr. Bloom. "Oh, Daddy, don't worry about me! I'm a big girl!" She pulls her head back slightly and looks Mr. Bloom in the eye. "I thought you said you weren't going to pimp for me", she says, sassily.
Mr. Bloom laughs out loud and walks Mary to the door of the library. "Have a great time!"
"Tarantara, tarantara!" calls Catherine, marching with Mr. Fuzzums to the front door. Mary waves to her parents as she exits with Donny. They wave back.
Donny walks Mary to his car and leaves her by the passenger side door as he walks around to the driver's side door. Mary stands by the door without moving. As Donny opens the door and starts to get in, Mary says: "Donny Clapper, aren't you forgetting something?"
"What?"
Mary stands motionless by the door.
"Oh, uh...right." Donny gets back out, walks around the car and opens the passenger side door for Mary.
Mary remains motionless.
Donny looks perplexed. "What?"
Mary makes a little motion with her fingers, and extends her palm. Donny still looks perplexed. Then it dawns on him.
"Oh, right", he says, reaching for his wallet. "Half up front?"
"I understand the practice is full payment in advance", says Mary, petulantly.
Donny mutters under his breath, counts out twenty ten-dollar bills, and places them in Mary's extended hand. She folds them, slips them inside her blouse, and steps into the car. Donny closes the door, walks around the front of the car, opens the door, sits behind the wheel and turns the ignition key. The Cabriolet putts to life.
As they pull away from the car and drive west on Cherry Street, Donny looks at Mary. "Gosh, you look swell", he says.
"Thank you. You said that back at the house."
"Uh..right. So..how're ya doin' tonight?"
"Fine." Mary was hopes she won't have to talk to him. He's such an idiot.
They motor silently to the Beaune estate and parked. Donny leaps out of the driver's seat and runs around the car to open the passenger side door for Mary, who steps out gingerly, holding the hem of her skirt. Donny escorts Mary up the sidewalk to the front door of the main building, where they enter together with a number of other couples, including Roderick and Molly, Henry and Natasha, Jock Ericson and some blonde girl nobody knows, Betsy Flapper and an older man, Bibi Ericson and Megan Cupcake. (The last-named couple produces some whispering among observers). There are also quite a few students who come by themselves: Amanda Dennis, Katie Zeppelin, Justine and Juliette and quite a few others.
Each year, the Harvest Dance is sponsored by the faculty of Beauneville Latin, who organize the event and chaperone. Mr. Swift and Miss Agassiz, the newest members of the faculty, are the co-sponsors and they now stand on either side of the grand entrance to the ballroom, graciously welcoming the young people.
As Donny and Mary pass through the wood-framed arch into the ballroom, Miss Agassiz reaches out with one hand and beckons to Mary. "Miss Bloom, may I speak with you please?"
Mary follows Miss Agassiz a short distance down the hallway to a small nook that is out of sight from the crowd entering the ballroom. Miss Agassiz turns and looms over Mary, who presses her back against the wall.
"Miss Bloom, what are you wearing underneath that skirt?"
"Nothing, Mistress Renee."
"Good. That will save time, in case I need to...reprimand you. Are you going to behave yourself this evening?"
"No, Mistress Renee." Mary has learned the correct answer.
Miss Agassiz glares, and dismisses her. She rejoins Donny in the ballroom.
"What did she want?", wonders Donny.
"Nothing", says Mary, dismissively.
"Oh", says Donny. "She's hot."
"It's not nice to talk about other women when you're with a girl", says Mary, petulantly.
"Uh..oh, right", says Donny.
"Hi, Roderick", says Mary, waving shyly to Roderick, as he and Molly pass.
"Um..hi", says Roderick, waving back. "How's your date going?"
Mary shrugs. "Oh, you know...". She wants to say 'another day, another dollar', but thinks Donny might not like to hear this. "It's magical", she says.
Roderick smiles. What a nice girl, he thinks. Mercenary, but nice.
"Yow're ya doin' blondie?" whispers Donny to Molly. "I'm thinking of taking art class. Anything to see you naked..."
Molly looks at him coldly with her sharp blue eyes, debating whether to floor him with a roundhouse kick or a couple of jabs, then relents and whispers back: "Why bother with art class, when you can just call me?"
Donny's eyes widen: he doesn't have the grey matter to comprehend that Molly is playing him. He nods, and swallows as Roderick and Molly walk away.
There are a number of round tables set up around the floor; Donny leads Mary to the table where Betsy Flapper sits with her older friend.
"So, um, who's your friend, Bets?", asks Donny, as they sit down.
"Donny, this is Luigi. He works for my mom, but tonight, he's mine..". She hugs Luigi's arm.
Luigi smiles, leans forward and shakes Donny's hand. "Ciao."
"Who's the mouse?" Betsy nods towards Mary.
"Um, this is Mary", says Donny. "She's not a mouse, she's a nice girl".
Betsy giggles. "A nice girl. That's so funny!"
Donny turns to Mary. "Shall we dance?"
Mary rolls her eyes. "Oh I guess it's expected...".
They go to the floor and dance for awhile. The music changes to slow dance; Donny embraces Mary stiffly, and they glide around the room."
While dancing, Donny chats with Mary. "I have a friend in Stapleton who says you blew him in the back seat of his Chevrolet."
Mary tosses her head. "Your friend has a vivid imagination", she says, crisply. She's quite sure it wasn't a Chevrolet; several Fords, possibly a Pontiac and a 1957 Hudson Hornet, but no Chevrolets.
Donny ponders whether or not to inquire about pricing, but since he has exhausted his summer savings he decides not to bother.
They return to the table. Mr. Swift, while circulating, pauses by their table to chat. "Everyone having a good time tonight?" he asks. They nod. He leans over and whispers to Mary: "May I have a word, Miss Bloom...?"
Mary follows Mr. Swift to a corner of the ballroom. "Yes, Mr. Swift?"
"Can I expect you tomorrow for your weekly...special help?"
"Oh, yes, Mr. Swift, English is really hard for me and I need you to help me real bad", says Mary, in her best imitation of a helpless school girl.
"Four o'clock, then". Mr. Swift escorts Mary back to the table.
"Excuse me, Mr. Swift, may I speak with Miss Bloom for a moment?" It's Miss Agassiz.
"Of course, Misstr...Miss Agassiz." Mr. Swift departs into the crowd. Miss Agassiz beckons Mary to follow her into an anteroom, where she shuts the door, locks it with a key, and turns to Mary.
"Miss Bloom, did you behave yourself this evening?"
"No, Mistress Renee."
"Do you need me to...reprimand you?"
"Yes, Mistress Renee."
The astute and attentive reader will know by now that the scene that follows is not to be described in detail. Suffice to say that upon exiting the anteroom, Mary prefers standing to sitting.
Meanwhile, Molly and Roderick leave the dance to engage in...other activities. On the dance floor, Bibi and Megan cause a bit of a stir during the slow dance. Both are dressed to kill, in short strapless little things that display maximum leg and cleavage. The sight of them pressed together, bodies intertwined, causes quite a stir. Text messages fly. Amanda Dennis scribbles.
There is another stir when Jock and his Swedish friend are found copulating in the garden, what he claims to be a customary practice in Sweden.
At ten forty-five, Mary beckons to Donny and points to her watch. The depart the dance and drive silently back to her house. He parks out front. "So, um...I was thinking that there is the Halloween Masquerade in a few weeks..."
"Email me your proposal next week!", says Mary, breathlessly, as she bolts from the car, up the sidewalk to the porch and inside.
Megan and Bibi walk home from the dance laughing hysterically at the prank they pulled; everyone must think they are lesbians. Of course, thinks Megan, when they reach Bibi's house, it was nice. Bibi proposes massage and sauna, Megan accepts. They go inside.
Roderick and Molly are already snoozing in Molly's bed. They did not fulfill that certain pledge; they were too tired. Mary creeps upstairs and peeks into Molly's room; seeing that Molly is asleep, she moves on to her bedroom and sits on the bed. Her bottom throbs. She removes Donny's money from her blouse and slips it into the drawer of the little table next to her bed.
