On Thursday morning, Megan wakes up early, creeps out of Roderick's bed and checks her hotness rating on Dickie's website. Good. Still third even without the picture.
Mary Bloom, the good daughter, also rises early; she makes a hot breakfast for the family and also for Mrs. Peacock.
After breakfast, Molly plays Beethoven on the Bosendorfer, and Mr. Bloom sits in his favorite chair reading the newspaper.
Mary approaches Mr. Bloom. "Um..Dad, can I ask you something...about boys?"
Mr. Bloom lowers his paper. "Of course, you can, honey. What would you like to know."
"Well..um..you see...it's like this..."
Mr. Bloom gives her his classic 'you can tell me anything, I'm your father' kind of look.
"Um...well...I was wondering...if one boy offers me money to go on a date with him, and I say yes, and another boy says he will give me more money to go on a date with him, is it okay for me to tell the first boy I'm not going to go on a date with him after all? I mean, after I told him yes?"
"Hmm." Mr. Bloom ponders. "Did the first boy give you money up front?"
Mary shakes her head no.
Mr. Bloom scratches his head. "Well, technically, if he didn't give you front money there's no contract and you can cancel any time, like a hotel reservation. But he could still get mad. Is he armed and dangerous?"
"Um..I don't know. It's Donny Clapper".
"Okay. So we don't have to worry about the dangerous part. How much money are we talking about?"
"Donny offered me two hundred dollars, and the other boys says he'll pay me two hundred and fifty."
Mr. Bloom whistles; this virgin thing really pays off. "Contracts aside, though, if you cancel on Donny he will be mad, and could say bad things about you to other people."
"You mean he might call me a whore?".
"Or worse. He might say you're fickle. You wouldn't want people to think you're fickle, would you?"
Mary shakes her head no, and shudders. There's nothing worse for a girl than to be considered fickle. It's worse than being called a whore; of course, there's nothing wrong with being a whore, just not a cheap whore. It's all about personal branding.
"Tell the second boy -- the one who wants to pay you two hundred and fifty dollars -- tell him that you want to go out with him, but you made a commitment already that you can't break, but that you will soon consider offers for the Halloween Masquerade Dance. You tell him that real nicely and he'll forget all about the Apple Harvest Dance."
Mr. Bloom leans forward and musters the keen insight that has earned him a reputation as the best brand strategist in all of Washington County, or at least in and around Beauneville. "But here's the most important part. Do not, under any circumstances, commit to the second boy to go out with him. Just say that you will be considering offers. But say it real nicely."
He winks at Mary. "Okay?"
Mary beams, and throws her arms around Mr. Bloom. "Oh, Daddy! You're the best Daddy ever!"
Catherine yells from the front porch: "We're leaving for school!". Mary runs to catch up.
Later, between first and second classes in school, Donny and his entourage pass Mary in the hallway. He orders his entourage to halt and steps in front of Mary, blocking her passage. She fingers her "V" necklace, nervously.
"So, uh, pick you up at seven on Saturday, right?"
"Um.. yes, that's the plan", says Mary, as she slips away.
At lunch, she sits at the picnic table next to Dickie Wickett, who is eating his lunch by himself. Dickie is the above-mentioned second boy. "Um...hi, Dickie, how are you today?" she asks in her loveliest 'I'm a nice girl' manner.
Dickie looks up from his pickle sandwich. "Uh..."
Mary touches his right arm. "I want you to know that I got your email yesterday, and I'm so flattered that you want me to go to the Dance with you."
"Uh..."
"I was about to send a note telling you yes, I would be thrilled to go with you for two hundred and fifty dollars, but then I remembered..." -- she blushes -- "..I'm so forgetful sometimes...I made another commitment on Saturday night and, well, a promise is a promise isn't it?" She pouts.
"Uh..."
"But the Halloween Masquerade is coming, so why don't you send me your offer real soon, okay?"
"Um..."
Mary leaned closer to Dickie and whispered. "Can I tell you a secret? I forgot to wear underwear today, and it's chilly!" She stood up from the picnic table and stepped over the bench, holding the hem of her skirt. "Bye!" she whispered.
Dickie sits motionless for several seconds, looking at his pickle sandwich, then puts it back in his lunchbox partially eaten.
After lunch Mary sits awkwardly in Miss Agassiz's Science class, doing her best to keep her knees together. In truth, she did not forget her underwear; it's Mary's little surprise for Miss Agassiz, who is presently returning the homework papers. Mary hopes she got something wrong.
