When Roderick and Molly arrived at Beauneville Latin on Friday morning, a large white bus waited in the parking lot. They stowed their gear in the baggage compartment, then stepped up into the bus.
Betsy Flapper and her entourage had occupied the first few rows, followed by Donny Clapper and his entourage. Roderick and Molly found a pair of seats around the middle of the bus and snuggled in. As they did so, Molly noodged Roderick. He could tell she was feeling smoochy. Nice. Smooching all the way to Lake City is much better than watching TV or singing 'ninety-nine bottles...'.
Dickie Wickett took his place in the back of the bus. Katie Zeppelin arrived shortly afterwards. Stepping into the bus, she noticed a few empty seats scattered amongst Betsy Flapper's entourage. Betsy and her friends need extra space for their iPods, iPhones, iPads, and other Apple merchandise.
"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" asked Katie, pointing to one of the empty seats.
Betsy, who was chatting with members of her entourage looked up suddenly, as if she just realized Katie was standing nearby. Her entourage giggled.
"Um..yeah, that seat is taken" said Betsy, disdainfully.
"How about that one?". Katie pointed to a different seat in the next row.
Betsy looked at her entourage. They burst out laughing.
"Oh, yeah, that seat's taken, too. They're all taken, except wayyyyyyyyyyy back there with the nerd." Betsy pointed to Dickie.
Katie got the message and trudged to the back of the bus. "Slut!" muttered one of Betsy's friends.
A junior member of the entourage whispered to another: "Aren't we sluts, too?"
"We're fake sluts. She's an actual slut. There's a difference."
Miss Agassiz boarded the bus, took the role, then reminded students of the basic rules of field trips: be discreet and don't do anything to make the bus driver crash. With that she dismounted the bus, walked quickly over to her spotless jet black Porsche Boxster, revved the engine and peeled out of the parking lot ahead of the bus.
Roderick and Molly settled in for the longish ride.
Toward the front of the bus, someone began to sing 'ninety-nine bottles of beer' and was immediately throttled.
In the rear of the bus, Dickie Wickett bravely struck up a conversation with Katie Zeppelin. At first, she was put off by Dickie's nerdy exterior, but she soon discovered that underneath that nerdy shell there lay a nerdy interior. Above all, Dickie and Katie shared a passion for retail.
Dickie offered to build a website for Zeppelin Drug, helpfully pointing out that the store could tap into a market of high school students seeking to purchase condoms without those embarrassing moments at the cash register. This inspired Katie to tell Dickie about some of those moments from her perspective behind the cash register, including people who bought hemorrhoid treatments and bottled enemas as well as treatments for crab lice and yeast infections.
The animated whisperings from Katie and Dickie drew the attention of others sitting nearby, who wanted in on the gossip. Katie retold her stories for the expanded audience, with a few embellishments, and the buzz attracted attention from more students. The hive in the rear of the bus grew.
In the front of the bus, Betsy Flapper surfed contentedly on her iPad, not knowing that in the rear of the bus the details of her vaginal bacteria count -- the presence and absence thereof -- were the subject of great amusement to a growing crowd of her peers.
Roderick and Molly ignored the hubbub and remained curled together in their double seat.
